INDIANAPOLIS — A simple school assignment led to an epiphany for Eleanor Dillman.
The task was to write about a phase.
"I've always liked to write, and so this probably took me about an hour," Eleanor said of the paper. "By the time I got to the end, (I) knew this was not a phase – it's a new lifestyle and I have to be OK with that. It kind of explains a lot of where I'm at."
Her new life came without warning.
NOTE: You can read Eleanor's whole letter here.
She's an only child and was just 15, last May, when she lost her dad.
"I could talk for hours about this, like, I mean, there's so many different layers to what's happened to us. There's initial trauma, and then there's everything that comes after it," Eleanor said.
May 19, 2022
Brian Dillman, 49, was hit as he walked along the sidewalk at 49th and Meridian streets on May 19.
His wife Erin was on the front porch, planning a family vacation when he left for a walk before dinner with his daughter.
"We know that he was happy because it was a beautiful day in the month of May, and that's what he loved," Erin said.
Eleanor thinks her dad was was likely listening to his favorite music by John Prine with earplugs, and never saw the car jump the curb at 4:50 p.m.
Dinner was planned for 5:45, and punctual Brian was late. At 6 o'clock, Eleanor found her Mom, who had COVID, was isolating outside and hadn't seen dad.
"I thought, 'well, maybe he's just enjoying a nice long walk...' and then we started to get worried," Erin said.
They called friends and family. They tracked his phone, it was only a few blocks away.
"Once we realized where his phone was we were in denial. We thought maybe he has a broken leg or something like that," Erin said.
Then Eleanor received a text, with a picture of an accident, with the question, "Do you know what's going on here?"
"I thought, 'he's probably helping somebody' because that's just what he did. For him to be the one that was hurt was just...that was not something I ever saw coming because to me he was invincible," Eleanor said.
Eleanor's aunt gave her a ride to where the GPS last recorded his phone.
"I did go to the scene...phone was on the road. All the cars that were crushed. The police were there. Ambulance was there. They had roped it off. There were a bunch of people like around taking pictures," Eleanor said. "My aunt told me not to get out of the car, and so I didn't, because she didn't want me to be traumatized. But I still saw everything I needed to see. They told us that he was at a hospital and we drove down there."
Eleanor and her mother, Brian's parents and sister were all escorted to a quiet room at Methodist Hospital. They say they never saw Brian, but were told a "John Doe" had died. They remember answering questions about distinguishing characteristics and walked out of the hospital carrying a bag containing Brian's clothes. Hours later at home, they got the call confirming that "John Doe" was in fact, Brian Dillman.
"(He) went for a walk. And a week later, I saw him in a casket," Eleanor said.
Their world changed in an instant, and it was all over the news.
"To see him condensed into 'local ER doctor dead at 49' feels kind of weird," Eleanor said. "I walked into school the next day and everybody knew. Suddenly I went from being the cross country, high achiever, runner, musical kid to being the dead dad girl. And that just was my new persona."
Erin turned her attention to Eleanor, they started counseling and committed to a time of intense self-care.
They didn't speak publicly about the accident.
Court records reveal after the crash, doctors told the driver Kelli Anderson she was a harm to herself and others, and to not drive for six months until cleared by a neurologist for her seizure condition.
But three weeks later, police say Anderson was driving again and caused a late afternoon accident along Keystone Avenue that killed 28-year-old Kiana Burns, a mother of four.
"It was devastating. We didn't know how we're going to pick up ourselves after that, for a while," Erin said.
Anderson is facing multiple felonies in the second crash.
"I don't want to be angry at her. I don't, because everybody makes mistakes. But after it happens twice, it's definitely not a mistake anymore. So yes, I am pretty angry," Eleanor said.
Now eight months after Brian's death, the prosecutor is still considering charges in his death, and his family is sharing more about the man they knew.
"I think the story that was missed was that Brian was a father and a husband first," Erin said. "To have the headlines be focused on his profession was, for those of us who know him really well, was a little bit of a disconnect because he was so humble and didn't really identify with some of his achievements. He really identified with kind of the simple things in life that were friends and family."
Love lives on
Brian grew up on the south side of Indianapolis working in the family greenhouse.
A stellar student, he graduated from Perry Meridian High School in 1991 ranking third in his class.
He and his sister, Lisa, were the first generation in their family to attend college.
Brian loved baseball and played football at Wabash College his freshman year. He went to medical school, and worked as an ER doctor at St. Francis – the same hospital where he was born in 1972.
His patients were often the friends, families and neighbors he knew since childhood.
"In the ER, you know, you work lots of nights, evenings and weekends. And that didn't work so well for him once Eleanor came along," Erin said.
When Eleanor was 5, Brian transitioned to a career at Eli Lilly.
Eleanor remembers her dad showing up.
"If I had something going on, he was there. I was in the school musical and I was a laughable role. I was a cow. And he made it to every single one of those shows," Eleanor said.
Her dad ran marathons and was always teaching, how to ride a bike, cut the grass, and reach your potential.
"He was a superhero. I think that we made the most of the 15 years. I learned everything I possibly could, I just let all that knowledge come in. And I sort of now, I'm just soaking it all in now," Eleanor said. "He always used to tell us to count our ones. Take it one second at a time, one minute at a time, one hour, one day, one week, one month."
Erin said when she met Brian, she knew he was the one.
"He was really good at living in the moment, which was a gift to everybody around him, and I would say that my biggest regret is not having the rest of my life with him. To have more time together."
They were married 19 years.
"Brian gave us everything we needed to withstand this...that he left us whole. And it's probably hard to understand how we feel that way when there's such a huge hole in our heart without him, but he loved us so much and left us feeling like we can we can manage this," Erin said.
Anderson is facing multiple felonies in the death of Kiana Burns.
Erin and Eleanor are awaiting word if charges will be filed in Brian's death.
They do want justice.
"I stopped believing the best in her. Doing it once awful, but doing it twice is just malicious. And what is it going to take to get it into your head that this shouldn't happen again? And if we're not doing anything about it, then it is going to happen again. And more people are going to be hurt and more families are going to be torn apart. And I don't wish this on my worst enemy. And I really don't want this to happen to anybody else," Eleanor said.
Anderson's license is suspended and she is on home detention awaiting trial.
No verdict will bring Brian back.
"I'm the only flesh and blood, like, I'm what's left. And so that's a lot of pressure on a person. But it's also...motivating because I'm only 16. I have a long time to make my life worth it and make people remember him and tell his story."