CARMEL, Ind. (WTHR) – Schmidt Peterson Motorsports driver Jay Howard has waited six years to race in the Indy 500 again. His wife, Courtney, swayed nervously as Jay took each turn during four laps of qualifying last Sunday.
“I'm the luckiest person in the world,” said Jay during an interview at the couple’s home in Carmel. “I've got an amazing family. I'm racing the 500."
Since his last race in 2011, Jay became a husband and finally, a father. His son Hudson is 15 months old.
“Words can't describe the blessing that he is and the joy that he's brought to our lives," said Courtney as Hudson crawled among toys in the family’s basement.
“Every single minute of the day, it's about him,” said Jay. “Everything I want to do is for him.”
Jay and Courtney have wanted to be parents since they got married. But a traumatic brain injury from a 2010 fall off a scooter at an IndyCar race and a resulting mild stroke made pregnancy difficult, if not impossible for Courtney. Five years of fertility injections and medical procedures left nothing but heartbreak. Three rounds of intrauterine insemination failed. Six rounds of in vitro fertilization were also unsuccessful.
“That's when they said, ‘You have no chance of having a child. You need to probably look at other options, but having a child is not in the cards for you',” said Courtney.
“I mean it was tough,” said Jay with a deep sigh. “By far the hardest times in our lives for sure. But I'm always looking on the positive of everything.”
Desperate, they went to Midwest Fertility Specialists in Carmel. Dr. Robert Colver believed the Howards could have a child through their own embryo and a gestational carrier, also known as a surrogate.
“We had worked so hard for so many years because we wanted to be parents so desperately that we would have done anything,” said Courtney. “So we agreed that we would give it one more chance."
The Howard's embryo was placed in the womb of a close friend they call their angel oven. The woman, who wishes to remain anonymous, has three children of her own.
“She saw us struggling,” said Courtney. “She knew how badly we wanted to be parents. She's an amazing Christian woman. She said, 'If I can give this gift to you, I'm going to do it.' There are so many couples and so many women struggling that just want to be a mom like them. They just have the biggest hearts. They’re angels because they're willing to give up so much just to be able to gift another woman or another couple so that they can be parents.”
The surrogate pregnancy was successful on the first attempt.
“I'll never forget,” said Jay. “I was driving and Courtney called me and said, ‘Get ready. You're going to be a dad.’ Best day of my life by far.”
“There were days when it was really tough to keep going because all we wanted was to be parents,” said Courtney. “So to know that it was finally happening was like - every day is a good day.”
Hudson was born February 20, 2016.
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“I just couldn't stop smiling,” said Courtney. “It was so surreal. For so long we didn't think we had a chance. Just to see him, I was like ‘He's ours. He's really ours'."
“Definitely the focus was Hudson, not racing, not anything else,” said Jay. “It was bringing Hudson into this world. Now we got that. We can go enjoy the month of May.”
Jay races with Courtney's handprint, his bulldog's paw print and Hudson's footprint on his helmet. His #77 Lucas Oil/Team One Cure Honda also carries sponsorship from Midwest Fertility Specialists.
“It's a lonely trip doing this,” said Jay. “People just don't want to talk about it. After everything that we went through, we decided that if we could help just one person get pregnant and get the end goal of being parents that was a win for us.”
The Center for Disease Control and Prevention reports one in eight couples in the United States experience difficulty conceiving a child.
“We hope our story will give other couples hope,” said Courtney. “It's a long journey and hard journey. You're not alone. There are so many people out there going through it. It's not your fault. You can talk about it. There's nothing to be ashamed about.”
The Howards are eager to support other couples struggling with infertility.
“Financially it takes a burden on you - emotionally, physically, mentally,” said Courtney. “But there is hope. Keep fighting, because had we given up, we wouldn't have Hudson. We spent our savings to have Hudson. But at the end of the day, it made us parents.”
