BLOOMFIELD, Ind. (WTHR) — Bloomfield's Autumn Allor dreamed about having children.
"I always knew growing up that I wanted to be a mother," said Allor. "I always tell expectant mothers that there's no other love like that in the world. You'll never experience love like you do when you become a mom for the first time. When you see and hold that baby, I love being a mother."
But, Allor experienced sadness during her pregnancy in 2016. She suffered from extreme nausea and was hospitalized four different times. Allor was assured her condition was not affecting her child. Allor went in for an anatomy scan to learn the gender of her baby.
"I laid down on the table and they began the ultrasound. I've been through many ultrasounds throughout my life. It wasn't too long until I realized myself that something was wrong," said Allor. "I began to cry and the tech said 'what's wrong'. I said, 'you're not measuring a heartbeat, you're measuring blood flow'. At that moment, I realized that something was wrong. He said, 'you're right. Your baby doesn't have a heartbeat.'"
The doctor came in and confirmed the tragic news.
"I let out a scream that likely shook the entire hospital," said Allor. "She passed away from a cord failure. So, her umbilical cord was wrapped around her arm."
Charlotte was 19 weeks.
Allor remembers feeling the grief and the questions hospital personnel would ask.
"They asked do we want to spend time with her. Did we want to see her. Did we want to have pictures of her," said Allor.
Ordinarily, medical staff would have to transfer the baby to a morgue to keep the body cool. That was the option at Greene County hospital. But, Allor was transferred to St. Vincent Women's Hospital in Indianapolis which had access to a CuddleCot device.
"A CuddleCot is a cooling device that can be used bedside at the hospital for a family that has had an infant or pregnancy loss," said Linda Znachko who founded the ministry "He Knows Your Name" and befriended Allor in her grief.
CuddleCot is portable. The device includes a cooling pad that can be placed in a basket, crib or bed and is connected to an insulated hose and a cooling receptacle.
"It doesn't look like a scary medical device. This is what's adequate to keep the baby cool so the baby can stay bedside up to 3-5 days with a family," said Znachko.The device gave Allor precious time with her daughter.
"You can dress your baby. You can spend time with your baby. You can get photographs of your baby so you can remember what your baby looked like," said Allor. "She could fit in both of my hands," said Allor. "She was fully formed. I could still wrap her in the little blanket that I made. She was just like a tiny little doll."
Allor now has precious memories of Charlotte.
"CuddleCot has come along and given additional support, allowing more time with infants. When they're born, they can deteriorate. Their skin can deteriorate which can make it very difficult to spend time with the baby," said St. Vincent Perinatal Nursing Director Michelle Slayman. "It gives options to mothers who want to involve extended family who might not be there. They want to preserve their infant as long as possible to allow family to come and be at the bedside and say their goodbyes," said Slayman. "It just allows them to embrace and individualize their parenting for that child, that very brief moment and say their goodbyes properly. Really move through their grief in a more healthy way."
"It also allows family to understand that this is not a morbid thing to do," said Slayman. "It's not a morbid thing to be parent to your child for those short moments. We call it expecting because people who are expecting a baby have dreamt their whole life of being a mother. So, this allows mothers and parents and families to embrace it and not be afraid of their time with their infant. It's so critical that we allow mothers, parents, grandparents - who may have had losses maybe who never had time with their infants. Allow them the individuality, the profound grief they experienced. Let's give them the respect they need to have the individuality in their grief."
Experts say the CuddleCot device also helps medical personnel who interact with grieving families.
"Nurses feel like they can never do enough for a family who has a loss. Nurses, who go into obstetrics, go into it because it's positive. It's life giving. It's very challenging for nurses and physicians to be part of a family who has lost an infant. This gives them a tool that allows them to gift a family with time. It's very important for nurses who struggle so much with these experiences to have tools to give them the best care they can," said Slayman.
Znachko knows that Indiana has one of the highest infant mortality rates in the country. According to "He Knows Your Name", a child dies every 14 hours in Indiana. So, Znachko has helped donate 10 CuddleCots to hospitals across Indiana. Each device costs approximately $4,000.
"This is a tremendous need. I would like to see CuddleCots put in every hospital as standard practice," said Znachko. "I always love to say the cuddle cot is the gift of presence. It's the gift that they get to keep the baby present with them and the baby is a gift to them. So, for them to keep their baby while the mother is recovering after a traumatic delivery. She's usually there several days. So, she's very lonely in her room. She needs time to process her grief and loss."
After going through her storm, Allor would go on to have what's called a "rainbow baby", another girl named Olivia.
Recently, Allor made sure she created the ultimate legacy for the daughter she lost. She donated a CuddleCot to Greene County hospital near her home in honor of Charlotte. She told her daughters why it was so important.
"There are people who need our help and mommy's going to help those people. Mommy is going to help those ladies whose babies went to heaven," said Allor.
Znachko says many families that have suffered a loss look to leave a legacy. Oftentimes, those grieving families help fund CuddleCots for other hospitals.
"Families who've used this device, they leave compelled wanting to donate one in their baby's name," said Znachko. "Most plaques have her baby's name on it. So, when it sits bedside with a family, they can see that baby Charlotte was a part of their healing. And, they leave the hospital wanting to do the same thing. It's empowering for a family going through grief to have that purpose. Remembering the child forever."
October is pregnancy and infant loss awareness month. Students at Heritage Christian School have taken the opportunity to raise money for another CuddleCot to St. Vincent's Women's Hospital in Fishers. A blessing ceremony is scheduled to take place on October 24.