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Queen of Free: Talking money with your spouse

Lowe recommends getting five areas out in the open so each person understands the other's views on finances.

INDIANAPOLIS — The communication and intimacy required for a life-long relationship takes some work. 

"No one stumbles into a happy marriage," writes Cherie Lowe, the Queen of Free, in her weekly blog about conflict-free financial conversations for couples.

Lowe recommends getting five areas out in the open so each person understands the other's views on finances.  

First, you need to ask, "How was money handled in your family?" That could include how your parents saved, whether you took vacations and how your family talked about money.

Sharing how you learned to save and spend as a child probably impacts how you handle money as an adult. 

Don't be afraid to dream, said Lowe. "Thinking about where we could be or where we long to be serves as a catalyst to change our present reality," she said, "(but) don’t share your biggest financial dream until your spouse shares theirs first."

You may have differing views on generosity and favorite charities, so try to come to an agreement on when to drop coins in the kettle during the holidays and how big a tip to leave for your waitress.

And the biggest discussion, in all likelihood, is about debt. "If you can get out in front of the issue and have a straightforward chat that’s informative and maybe a little bit scary," Lowe said, "your odds of fighting decrease."

Getting on a handle on what you owe is the first step to paying it off.

Watch the Queen's 13Sunrise segment in the video player.

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