INDIANAPOLIS — Imagine a jolly old man who has access to the world's most coveted automobiles. Sure, he drives a red sleigh with nine swift reindeer, but in the off season, he loves to drive like Mario. If Santa had to pick one sedan, SUV, and sports car, he’d flash his twinkle towards these.
2023 Chevrolet Corvette Z06
This is likely to be the hottest toy of the next season, so start being good now. Chevrolet first affixed the Z06 moniker to a race-ready Corvette in 1963, but this is the most stirring one yet.
Even through wire-rim glasses, Santa will have no trouble spotting the Z06. A brawny 3.6-inches wider then base Stingrays, the Z06 sports fender flares, aero-tuned facias, boomerang rear wing, and front canards to control airflow – helpful when you have a short night to make quick stops. Optional carbon fiber wheels add speed. Bespoke interior tinsel include a carbon fiber steering wheel, hand-wrapped leather dash, and festive Adrenaline Red trim.
The Jolly One can blitz continents, too. Planted behind the cabin is a 32-valve V8 kicking out 670 horsepower and 460 lb.-ft. of torque, leaping 0-60 mph in just 2.5 seconds. Keeping this parade on track are launch control, real-time adjusting suspension and Brembo carbon ceramic brakes. Given all that, fuel economy of 13/24-MPG city/highway seems frugal.
Santa clearly made somebody at General Motors very happy to get a Z06. Without a hefty discount for goodwill, he'll have to peddle a lot of toys to pay for the expected $95,000 sticker next year.
2022 Lucid Air
He may wear sooty suits, but like any responsible CEO of a global enterprise, Santa's keen on shrinking his carbon footprint. And, while he likes the Corvette Z06 very much, he may want a carriage more comfortable given the great distances he’ll travel. The Lucid Air, has the interior space of a Mercedes S-Class, performance of a Z06, and Wintered silence of hushed reindeer.
This sled derives its propulsion from lithium-ion batteries and electric motors that unleash up to 1,111 horsepower upon the all-wheel-drive system. That can blow the snow off of a man, twinkling from 0-60 mph in 2.5 seconds and 168 mph top speed. Range of 520 miles per charge plus the ability to charge 10-80% in just 20 minutes allows St. Nick to make haste on his busiest of nights.
Beyond the toybox of tech underneath, the Air is a wondrous vision of Christmas Future. Its wind-cheating bodywork dresses with strings of LED lights and glass roof. Inside, a 32-inch widescreen display has an iPad-like center screen that retracts into the dashboard. Floating sunvisors highlight the reverent cathedral ambience and light aluminum structure. Leather and alpaca blend fabric convey luxury.
If Mrs. Claus wants to ride in style, Santa will tap his AmEx Titanium Card for $170,500.
2022 Range Rover
After spending the better part of a century sitting in fancy chairs at department stores and malls, Santa knows a good throne when he fits one. And, he’ll be supremely comfortable riding in the back of the all-new Range Rover.
The modernist design pays homage to Christmases past with the falling roofline, continuous beltline, and flat sides of classic Range Rovers. Through, the rear opens to leather seats for tailgating. Open the power-assisted doors to step inside; four-place seating is the most opulence. Infotainment comes via curved floating glass touchscreen, rear seat touchscreens, and 1600w Meridian audio system with headrest speakers. Wool-blend textiles convey warmth.
Light this Christmas parade by a 434 horsepower plug-in hybrid with 62 miles electric range or a 523 horsepower twin-turbo V8 that blinks 0-60 mph in 4.4 seconds. Standard four-wheel steering shortens turning circles while the electronic air suspension tackles all trails and anticipates corners via the navigation system. Choose between standard wheelbase or the long wheelbase with accommodation for three rows and 7 passengers.
If Santa wants to make his rounds in supreme comfort and ignoring whatever weather comes to him, he’ll go forth in the all-new Range Rover...provided he has $104,000 left after buying a globe’s worth of gifts.
Storm Forward!
Whichever car you choose, I wish you a magical holiday season. Send me your thoughts at AutoCasey@aol.com; follow me on YouTube @AutoCasey.
